Miscarriage

I have been meaning to write about my miscarriage for some time now. Many family members already know what happened, but I wanted to share with those of you who read my blog and are not on our email list.

The day after I had my first appointment I started to have some light spotting. It went on for two weeks with no explanation.They had me take some medicine to boost my progesterone and I took some blood tests. The weekend before we found out, I did some extra physical activities, walking around the mall and such and the spotting got worse. So I put myself on bed rest that Sunday. The next morning I called in to say that I either had a tear somewhere or the worst. So I went in for an ultrasound. I think I knew what was coming. The ultrasound technician didn't say anything for awhile. I finally asked her if the baby was even still alive. She said that it didn't look good. So we did an internal ultrasound just to make sure. Of course the news was bad. They had me go up to the OBGYN office to have the nurse tell me a few things. I didn't hear much, because I was upset. I drove home crying not wanting to tell daddy the bad news over the phone. I didn't even say anything when I walked in the door. I just burst into tears. It was a hard day. Tuesday night my visiting teacher came over with another lady from the ward with some dinner and flowers. I really appreciated that.The next two days were difficult, but the worst finally was over that Wednesday night (Jan 26).
 
The next week and a half I spent recovering physically and emotionally.  
 
On Saturday Feb 5 I started to have some bad abdominal pain. I was still bleeding from the miscarriage so I was concerned about the possibility of an infection. As the day went on the pain got worse and I got a fever. I was in so much pain I couldn't eat anything and didn't want to move. I contemplated going to the hospital, but really did not want to go because I was afraid of how much a hospital visit would cost. After some deliberation, a phone call to the doctor, and a second opinion from my visiting teacher's husband, who is a doctor, we decided that I should go. My visiting teacher, stayed at our house while Princess was asleep and we went to the hospital. We waited for two hours to be admitted in the ER. It was 1am by the time we got back there. At about 12:50 I said that if they didn't call my name in the next 10 minutes that I wanted to go home because I felt terrible and was uncomfortable just sitting there. As I was getting up to leave, they called me back.
 
Anyways, they took my temperature and blood pressure. Luckily my fever had gone down, but my blood pressure was dangerously low. I got all hooked up the machines; they took some blood, and got me hooked up to an IV. They suspected an infection so they did an ultrasound to see if I needed a D&C surgery. After the results came back they decided that I indeed had some sort of an infection and needed the D&C right away. Daddy went home at about 4am so that he could be with Princess in case she woke up. It would have been AWFUL for her to wake up and find a stranger there and no sign of mommy or daddy. I went into surgery at about 4:45 am. They put me under anesthesia and I was out for the whole thing, which I was very grateful for. After surgery I spent an hour in recovery and then Daddy came to pick me up, with Princess tagging along. We all got home at about 8:30am. I don't remember much of anything about Sunday. I was only awake for a total of maybe 2 hours. Monday was a little better. Daddy of course stayed home from work. The medication that I was on for pain was really strong and didn't make me feel all that great. I also was on a couple of other medications and antibiotics. By Wednesday (Feb 9) Daddy was able to go back to work for a half day because I had a check up at the Doctor's office that morning. All in all, the recovery went pretty smoothly. Looking back I wish I could have just gotten the D&C right away instead of dragging the miscarriage out for almost three weeks.
 
So it has been a month now since I found out that I was going to have a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I'm doing really well. Physically i'm back to normal. Emotionally, I still have my moments.
 
 I think that sometimes there is a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to miscarriage. People tend to wave it off like nothing, saying that it is so common that it can't be much of a loss. When in fact, that is exactly what it is! Having a miscarriage is losing a baby. And it can be a very emotionally painful experience. I am so grateful that despite how difficult it turned out to be, that I am doing so well now. I am grateful also that I wasn't farther into the pregnancy. I think that would have been awful. Most of all I am grateful for an amazing husband, who was and is my rock; a beautiful little girl who is my pride and joy, and for the knowledge of the gospel. The Church is true, and families really can be together forever!
 
All in all, I know that this is part of Heavenly Father's plan. For whatever reason, it wasn't time for us to have another sweet spirit join our family. I hope that we will be blessed with more children in the future, and I'm sure that we will, but I am totally content with where we are at now.