Miscarriage

I have been meaning to write about my miscarriage for some time now. Many family members already know what happened, but I wanted to share with those of you who read my blog and are not on our email list.

The day after I had my first appointment I started to have some light spotting. It went on for two weeks with no explanation.They had me take some medicine to boost my progesterone and I took some blood tests. The weekend before we found out, I did some extra physical activities, walking around the mall and such and the spotting got worse. So I put myself on bed rest that Sunday. The next morning I called in to say that I either had a tear somewhere or the worst. So I went in for an ultrasound. I think I knew what was coming. The ultrasound technician didn't say anything for awhile. I finally asked her if the baby was even still alive. She said that it didn't look good. So we did an internal ultrasound just to make sure. Of course the news was bad. They had me go up to the OBGYN office to have the nurse tell me a few things. I didn't hear much, because I was upset. I drove home crying not wanting to tell daddy the bad news over the phone. I didn't even say anything when I walked in the door. I just burst into tears. It was a hard day. Tuesday night my visiting teacher came over with another lady from the ward with some dinner and flowers. I really appreciated that.The next two days were difficult, but the worst finally was over that Wednesday night (Jan 26).
 
The next week and a half I spent recovering physically and emotionally.  
 
On Saturday Feb 5 I started to have some bad abdominal pain. I was still bleeding from the miscarriage so I was concerned about the possibility of an infection. As the day went on the pain got worse and I got a fever. I was in so much pain I couldn't eat anything and didn't want to move. I contemplated going to the hospital, but really did not want to go because I was afraid of how much a hospital visit would cost. After some deliberation, a phone call to the doctor, and a second opinion from my visiting teacher's husband, who is a doctor, we decided that I should go. My visiting teacher, stayed at our house while Princess was asleep and we went to the hospital. We waited for two hours to be admitted in the ER. It was 1am by the time we got back there. At about 12:50 I said that if they didn't call my name in the next 10 minutes that I wanted to go home because I felt terrible and was uncomfortable just sitting there. As I was getting up to leave, they called me back.
 
Anyways, they took my temperature and blood pressure. Luckily my fever had gone down, but my blood pressure was dangerously low. I got all hooked up the machines; they took some blood, and got me hooked up to an IV. They suspected an infection so they did an ultrasound to see if I needed a D&C surgery. After the results came back they decided that I indeed had some sort of an infection and needed the D&C right away. Daddy went home at about 4am so that he could be with Princess in case she woke up. It would have been AWFUL for her to wake up and find a stranger there and no sign of mommy or daddy. I went into surgery at about 4:45 am. They put me under anesthesia and I was out for the whole thing, which I was very grateful for. After surgery I spent an hour in recovery and then Daddy came to pick me up, with Princess tagging along. We all got home at about 8:30am. I don't remember much of anything about Sunday. I was only awake for a total of maybe 2 hours. Monday was a little better. Daddy of course stayed home from work. The medication that I was on for pain was really strong and didn't make me feel all that great. I also was on a couple of other medications and antibiotics. By Wednesday (Feb 9) Daddy was able to go back to work for a half day because I had a check up at the Doctor's office that morning. All in all, the recovery went pretty smoothly. Looking back I wish I could have just gotten the D&C right away instead of dragging the miscarriage out for almost three weeks.
 
So it has been a month now since I found out that I was going to have a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I'm doing really well. Physically i'm back to normal. Emotionally, I still have my moments.
 
 I think that sometimes there is a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to miscarriage. People tend to wave it off like nothing, saying that it is so common that it can't be much of a loss. When in fact, that is exactly what it is! Having a miscarriage is losing a baby. And it can be a very emotionally painful experience. I am so grateful that despite how difficult it turned out to be, that I am doing so well now. I am grateful also that I wasn't farther into the pregnancy. I think that would have been awful. Most of all I am grateful for an amazing husband, who was and is my rock; a beautiful little girl who is my pride and joy, and for the knowledge of the gospel. The Church is true, and families really can be together forever!
 
All in all, I know that this is part of Heavenly Father's plan. For whatever reason, it wasn't time for us to have another sweet spirit join our family. I hope that we will be blessed with more children in the future, and I'm sure that we will, but I am totally content with where we are at now.

Cousins!

Princess loves her cousins. She currently has 27 cousins with one on the way. She has just recently started to identify them in pictures and she knows some of their names! Below are a few pictures with a handful of her cousins.
The Goodman Girls and R Shaw. This picture is a little old but I still think that it is cute! The girls all came over for a sleepover and we had a blast. Princess thought that it was fun to have them over. These girls are so amazing and I love the four of them dearly!



The Shaw family-five of our awesome nieces and nephews! Princess loves them and can name them all in their pictures. We loved going up to visit when we lived in Utah and we sure miss them a lot!

Princess loves her cousin K. Walker. They get along so well together and play like two peas in a pod.

We are so lucky to have the Walkers nearby us, only 3 1/2 hours away in Michigan. It makes it not so lonely being out here in Ohio. We are hoping to get up there again asap so the girls can play again!

My Little Princess

I just realized that I don't HAVE to have a picture with every post. I realized this morning that I don't blog as much as I should because I feel obligated to spend the extra time and post a picture.
So anyways, about my little princess. Goodness me. She is my sweetheart.

Most of the time.

Princess learned how to drink from and straw and how to catch a ball a few days before Christmas. However, because her mommy is a super wimp and wines when the ball gets thrown at her, Princess has decided that the ball is scary when it hits her and won't catch it anymore....So we're working on that one. Mommy needs to be a better example. Ha!

Princess recently started counting. We have been working on numbers 1-5. She was playing with her toys in the tub and started to count them "One, Noo, Nee!" So cute!

Princess hates Nursery. Unless Mommy stays with her the entire time. Then she LOVES nursery! Today she screamed for almost 10 minutes straight.
She spent most of church with me today. *Sigh*

Princess LOVES coloring.
Let me rephrase that. Princess loves watching mommy color.....Footballs. Yes that's right. You heard me. Footballs. My little Princess Loves football. And she loves watching mommy draw footballs over, and over, and over, and over, and over............

Princess is madly in love with waffles. She always asks for them. Needless to say, Mommy eats waffles many many times a week... It's getting a little old.
But hey! At least she's eating something!

Princess adores playing with her big mega blocks. We build at least 6 towers of blocks every day. When we have finished the tower, we momentarily celebrate and then she gleefully knocks them over and we begin anew. We are trying to get her to play on her own. But she doesn't like to play with out her Mommy or Daddy.

She is my little Princess. I sure love her. And she sure loves me.

Ohio Christmas

For the first time ever, we celebrated Christmas as our own little family. No Parents, grandparents, cousins, or siblings. It was a very different experience. But it was an enjoyable one. Chloe spent much of the weekend, (and the entire week after that) being sick so that put a downer on our celebration but we still made the most of it. We went out to eat on Christmas Eve to Olive Garden and then went home and opened our jammies. Chloe wasn't feeling well and didn't want to pose in front of the Christmas tree for pictures. The look on her face in these two pictures gives a glimpse into her frustration and absolute grumpiness.

She thought that opening presents was interesting. On Christmas morning she was much more in to it. She even wanted to help mommy and daddy open their presents!

We eventually got her to smile and be happy for a picture in her new jammies by the Christmas tree. (It took a bribe of chocolate to get her to stand still and some sillyness from daddy to get her to smile.)

Princess got a baby doll with a stroller. She pushed her dolly around forever once we got it out of the box.

As you can see, Princess LOVES her baby!

Princess also got some lego blocks! She loves these blocks. We spend a lot of time each day building towers and then knocking them down!

Since it was our first Christmas without extended family members It was my responsiblity to make Christmas dinner, all by myself! To say that I was terrified was probably an understatement! However, everything came out perfectly and Curtis says that it was the best Christmas dinner that he had ever had and that my turkey was amazing! So I thought I would include a picture of our feast. It's not especially fancy looking but I did break out my fancy dinnerware that has been sitting in a box for 4+ years!

All in all, we had a wonderful holiday. It was quiet, and peaceful, and it was wonderful to just be together as a threesome. Best of all, we had the special opportunity to reflect on and celebrate the birth of our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ. (We even spoke in church the sunday before Christmas!) Hoping you all had a pleasant Holiday season! And welcome 2011!

Christmas Letter 2010

Dear Family and Friends,
It has been a crazy year for us. We started the year out with no job and no prospects, to finding a good job in Provo, and then thinking that we were going to go to Graduate School in Virginia. Curtis had been accepted, and even offered a small scholarship, and we had booked a trip to Washington D.C. to visit the school. Days before our trip we received a phone call that altered our path completely. He was offered a job as an Intelligence Specialist at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio. We gratefully accepted the position and as of September we have been living in Ohio. So far we love it and we still can’t believe that we ended up here.

Curtis is doing really well at his new job. It is very exciting to be doing what you wanted to do and what you studied in College. He is currently serving as the 3rd Counselor in the Elder’s Quorum. Curtis is a great Daddy and Chloe loves him to pieces. As does Jenni!

Jenni had a great year. She finished her year in BYU Singers and then graduated with her Bachelor’s degree in August, weeks before we moved to Ohio. She really enjoys being a full time stay at home mommy. Jenni spends much of her free time reading, cleaning, and working on projects that she never had time to do before. It is a nice change of pace.

Chloe (20 months) is a bundle of personality. She is really outgoing, loving, spunky, sweet, playful, and dramatic. She has grown so much, so fast this past year. It is mind blowing! Chloe loves princesses, especially Cinderella. She also loves balls. She can throw, kick, toss, and is learning to catch. She can identify when a sport is football and excitedly yells about it. Chloe will play with Barbie’s one minute, color the next, and then play with race cars. She is a very well rounded little girl. She also loves music, playing the piano, and she especially loves to dance.

Besides the new job and our move to Ohio we went on a trip to Washington D.C. in April, to a family reunion in Arizona to celebrate the 90th birthday of Grandma Merrill in June, and just recently returned from the Temple wedding of Jenni’s sister Brittany to Richard McConnel in Provo, Utah. This summer we spent many hours recording a CD for family and friends. We had so much fun with that project and were happy to finally complete a goal that we have had since we got married. We also participated in a musical production of “Pirates of Penzance” this past summer as Frederic and Mabel.

We are so grateful for this Christmas season and for the opportunity that we have to reflect on the birth of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. We know that He died for us, that He lives, and that through Him we may all return to live with our Heavenly Father. We are grateful for all that the Lord has blessed us with and for the opportunities that he continually provides for us. We hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love,

Curtis, Jenni, and Chloe

Winter Wedding

We had the opporutnity to fly back to Utah for my sister Brittany's wedding to Richard McConnel in the Provo Temple on December 4, 2o1o. It was a BEAUTIFUL day and everything went perfectly. We were so happy to be a part of their day and to see family for a few days. Below is just a small sampling of the many, many pictures that were taken that day!
Just Married!

Chloe dancing with her Grandpa

Family pictures at the reception and at the temple.

My pretty blue eyed baby

Chloe and her mommy. Aren't we cute in our matching dresses? My mom made them!

Chloe and her Uncle Joe. She LOVES Joe!

Josh and Steph and Us- the old married couples!

My sisters- Gabi, Me, and Kyrsten

Mamarazzi Monday

Princess is so cute these days! Below is a collection of pictures from her recent adventures.
She plays with the movies ALL of the time. She likes stacking them and examining the contents, much to Daddy's dismay.

We enjoyed the warm temperatures this past week by getting some ice cream and playing outside at a farm!

Princess loved poking her head thru and making funny faces.

Driving the tractor with Daddy!

Beautiful girl playing outside our house in the leaves. She LOVES going outside.

Princess has recently become very independent with her eating....She is very messy!

Princess loves playing with Daddy's stuff. Hats, ties, shoes, computers, movies, wallet, keys, phone etc etc.

Toddlerhood is sure fun!